Wif, Wer, They, Their

It is only recently that I learned the word "man" in Old English referred to all of "mankind," male and female alike. Nowadays folks use words like "humanity" (which has a deeper connotation) or just "people" (which has a more generic and, in my opinion, shallower connotation) in their attempts to find a neutral way to express "all the individuals on the planet, collectively."

I tend to prefer Old English-derived words over the Latinate cognates that entered our language later on. And I grow weary of executing (and reading!) clumsy syntactical backflips in an attempt to be PC and gender-neutral. So, I have chosen to go back to using "man" and "mankind." Therefore the word "postman," if encountered in an entry you read here, is to be interpreted as "a mail carrier" and not as "a male mail carrier."

The word for a male "man" used to be "wer" (think: werewolf). The word for a female "man" used to be "wif" (think: midwifery). I love these words. You may just find me using them, too.

One of the worst contortions of our language committed by writers conforming to modern PC language protocol is the use of two gender-specific singular pronouns when referring to one individual: "Each student must obtain a doctor's note for any class he or she may miss due to illness; otherwise two points will be deducted from his or her final grade." I cast the same vote as William Safire once did when he wrote a column suggesting that we just legitimize using "them" and "their" and "theirs" as our epicene singular pronouns. Since I am a strong believer in the bottom-up evolution of language and hardly expect some Academy Of Proper English to suddenly canonize this considered-to-be-vernacular use of the singular pronouns them and their, I will do my part in nudging the English language towards this much more graceful option.

I understand that it will look "uneducated" and "wrong" to many of you when you read a sentence here such as, "The valedictorian will deliver their commencement speech at 3:00." We have grown somewhat used to hearing this construction in everyday speech. I understand my reader may, just the same, feel uncomfortable seeing it done in writing. Maybe I can help you get over it.

--i.n.kazar

Postscript: I have already discovered while composing a draft for an upcoming entry, that in order to use wif and wer I run into some trouble when needing adjective forms. "Wifly" and "werly"? And plurals: "Wifs" and "wers"? I have not benefitted from any formal instruction in Old English. Maybe you can help me get over it. Corrections and further information are quite welcome, thanks.